Dove

Is it a soap or a chocolate? I DON'T KNOW!

Eggs

I wish I had a shell. :(

Full

There's only word to describe my current state. I'm so stuffed, I think I'm gonna chuck. Charles.

Subway

Eat fresh? Fat chance! I heard a rumor that Subway keeps all of their ingredients in a fridge. Really Subway? Ear fresh? When was the last time you grabbed something fresh out of a refrigerator?

Raisins

When the makers of chicken nuggets wanted to make a new successful food, they looked at prunes and thought they could apply the same principle to those as they did with chicken strips. Follow me on this one. Chicken nuggets are bite sized chicken strips. Something needs to be a bite sized prune. A raisin! Genius.

Yam's

Potato's hot cousin.

Waffles

I love waffles, but I don't like how sticky syrup is. My waffles sometimes overfill, and it goes over the edge, onto the table. At this point, I have sticky fingers. I look like a fool, licking the tips of my fingers.

Hot Dogs

Hot dogs are not good breakfast food, although you can have them for breakfast, I wouldn't advice it. I'm eating them right now, at 11:32 AM, and I'm thinking that I should have made some eggs.

Spaghetti

Spaghetti is interesting. It's hair food.

American Food

Some people (nobody) come up to me and ask, “hey, what do you consider to be American food”.
“Ha,” I reply, “American food has three qualities:
Fat
Starch
Bread

Here’s some American foods for you:
Hot dogs
Hamburgers

Sorry for blowing your mind.