Energy

I saw a 5 Hour Energy commercial last night. There was an office full of tired white people. The only tired black person was a janitor. I know, right?

Pot

The saying "Pot calling the kettle black" doesn't really apply in my household. See, all our pots and pans, including the kettle, are all grey. Maybe if the saying was "...calling the kettle grey," it could be used, but that doesn't sound right. Plus, if someone says it too fast, it could sound like "...thekettlegay," and I don't want any of that derogatory nonsense in my house.

Yam's

Potato's hot cousin.

AFI

When they were combing their hair, did they even use a mirrror!? ZING!

Gum

When scientists were inventing gum in the 90's, do you think they foresaw the social impact of the product today? Everywhere you look, people are either chewing gum, or asking for gum. I realize that without gum, people would be chewing on taffy instead. Did you know that gum is pink because it acts as a mouth camouflage? The best part about gum is that it collects all those popcorn shells on your teeth. Gum is the chief export of Warren, MI. Every new born comes out thinking about gum, more specifically Juicy Fruit.

Christmas Morning

Is there anything better than waking up at the crack of 11, eating a breakfast your sister made, and not being overcome with undying want to tear open your presents? This is the first year where I'd be OK without getting anything, and that makes me happy.

FROM ME TO YOU, MERRY CHRISTMAS. I wish you, your friends, and your family the very best this year.

Presents

Presents are cool, but so are the presents. The presents are a series of times that are happening right now...


...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE.

Christmas

It's two days away. OMG. What are you getting? I'm getting WAAAASTED.

Wrapping Paper

It's indisputable that wrapping paper is classy, but how classy is using newspaper as wrapping paper? I think it's creative, but some might think it's a last minute thing. Sorry, Mom, I was too busy buying your present to wrap it in nice paper, THERE I SAID IT.

30 Rock

Review:
Funny show. Better than The Office? Maybe.
3 out of 3.

Man

When God was making man (fact), why did he give him hair? The Garden of Eden couldn't have been that cold.

Books

How many books are there in the entire world? If I were to take every book in the entire world, and balance it on your head, you would probably be smashed. Did you know that books usually are printed in English? If I had a dime for every time I thought about books, I would be rich! Books don't make good shelter, but they do make good kindling. What would Jesus do... with books?

Senior Pictures

I think that my Senior Pictures would have been a lot cooler if instead of me being in a suit at the age of 18, it would be pictures of toddler me in a suit. Give those to people, see what they say!

Avatar

It's so hyped. I think I might have to see it. Green screen = good stuff. James Cameron directed a lot of great movies, and sci-fi is cool, so I will.

Time Travel

Has anyone ever tried writing "Time Travel" and accidentally wrote "Tim Travel". Imagine how embarrassed you would feel in front of all the other scientists.

Finals

Today, my final exams went EXTREMELY well, and I'm pleased to say I did well on them. Good luck to everybody in these next few days!

Smoking

There are way too many, "If X people join this group, than my Y will stop smoking." WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STOP SMOKING?

Tim Burton

Did you hear about that Tim Burton movie with Johnny Depp?

Miami

What's the chief export of Miami?

Twitter

It's amazing! I didn't know how to talk to people before Twitter came around. If you don't have a Twitter, you're in the dark ages of technology with Neopets and AIM and MySpace.

New Season of AQCWJ

I'm pretty happy, because I love making the show, and I love writing these brief updates every day. Time to get back into the habit!

SEASON PREMIERE:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNP_6UiN0ow