Snuggies

How did the become so popular? It's a blanket with sleeves. How did no one think of this before?

Geeks

Treat your local geeks with respect! They go through enough crap. Showwww sommme resssspect!

Questions

When you ask something, you don't ask a statement. You ask a question. Some of life's biggest questions: "does God exist?", "why are we here?" These questions can be answered with one thing: a response. Am I going to respond to those questions? Hell no, that stuff's beyond my being.

Laughing

It's the best. I think that if you laugh, you're happiness will increase. Am I right? I dunno.

Bats

How scary are they!? So scary. They are essentially a big pair of fangs with wings. Watch your face, bro.

Troy

Michigan? I don't care for that place (I've never been there). The only Troy (place) I care about is the Troy in ancient times. Never before has there been such an amazing place. Hats off to you, Troy!

Mono

You know you graduated high school when you can recall time with "that's the year I had mono".

Cracker Jacks

Easily the most delicious snack ever. Eat them and you will gain the power of the wolf. Unleash the wolf inside of you!

Empire

I wish that I could make an empire. It would be an empire of chocolate! Chocolate from across the land, from California to China. Every size, shape and color would be represented. This is the most delicious empire since the Honey Roasted Ham Empire.

Math

Why do I need to find the triangle? What is this triangle? What?

Standing

We learned how to walk in our first few years of existence. But when we learned to stand, that was our proudest moment. We learned to stand up for ourselves. Unleash the wolf inside of you!

Excitement

New AQCWJohnny today. It's not that exciting to me, to be honest. It's whatever. But some people want it. Also, I'll be ending the season soon.

Hockey

WMU Hockey is so exciting! Everybody swears and yells. Tonight, I caught a puck! Even though Western lost to Ohio State, I still had a blast. Thank you.

Guitars

"How do they work?" you ask quietly. Well, every time a string is plucked, it vibrates, and the pickups "pick up" the sound. How come you didn't think of that?

Biology

What do you want from me? Why do I need to know what's in a cell in order to pass college? Can't I just look intriguingly into a microscope and call it a day?

The Olympics

USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA! GO USA! USA!

I hope we win all of the golds, GO FOR THE GOLD, USA.

Valentines Day

You're supposed to give your heart to someone... let's hope it's not... KANO!

Dove

Is it a soap or a chocolate? I DON'T KNOW!

Eggs

I wish I had a shell. :(

Alex Gilbert

There has never been a man such as him! I raise my glass to Alex Gilbert. Huzzah!

ALEX! ALEX! ALEX! WOOOOOO!

Full

There's only word to describe my current state. I'm so stuffed, I think I'm gonna chuck. Charles.

Jackass

Man's greatest achievement is a franchise... Jackass. Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, and Chris Pontius have all created the rawest enjoyment in human history: pain. Jackass is God's gift to humanity, telling us that we can laugh at a nut-shot every half hour at 11PM.

Shit

"I didn't make a blog post today," said Johnny with vigor.

Phone

I'm getting it in the mail on Friday. If I don't get it Friday, I'm going to bum SO HARD. Arguably the hardest I have ever bummed before. Well, shit, at least I'm able to get a phone.

IT SUCKS TO LOSE A PHONE.

Mail

This is great news: I expected getting my phone today, it's probably coming tomorrow or Friday. Or maybe even Saturday. I've been without a phone since Monday, January 25th. Awesome

Academy Awards

The nominations are in, along with my picks for each of the most distinctive awards! Also, might I add, that I predicted the most winners correctly in my Sophomore year film class.

Best Picture

* Avatar
* The Blind Side
* District 9
* An Education
* The Hurt Locker
* Inglourious Basterds
* Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
* A Serious Man
* Up
* Up in the Air

Actor in a Leading Role

* Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart
* George Clooney in Up in the Air
* Colin Firth in A Single Man
* Morgan Freeman in Invictus
* Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker

Actor in a Supporting Role

* Matt Damon in Invictus
* Woody Harrelson in The Messenger
* Christopher Plummer in The Last Station
* Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones
* Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds

Actress in a Leading Role

* Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side
* Helen Mirren in The Last Station
* Carey Mulligan in An Education
* Gabourey Sidibe in Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
* Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia

Actress in a Supporting Role

* Penélope Cruz in Nine
* Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air
* Maggie Gyllenhaal in Crazy Heart
* Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air
* Mo’Nique in Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire

Animated Feature Film

* Coraline
* Fantastic Mr. Fox
* The Princess and the Frog
* The Secret of Kells
* Up

Directing

* Avatar James Cameron
* The Hurt Locker Kathryn Bigelow
* Inglourious Basterds Quentin Tarantino
* Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire Lee Daniels
* Up in the Air Jason Reitman

Documentary (Feature)

* Burma VJ Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
* The Cove Nominees to be determined
* Food, Inc. Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
* The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
* Which Way Home Rebecca Cammisa

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

* District 9 Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
* An Education Screenplay by Nick Hornby
* In the Loop Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
* Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
* Up in the Air Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)

* The Hurt Locker Written by Mark Boal
* Inglourious Basterds Written by Quentin Tarantino
* The Messenger Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
* A Serious Man Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
* Up Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

---

To see the full list, use Google.

Adam Sandler

He should really make a sequel to Happy Gilmore. I finished watching that movie and all I could think was, "...that's it? What happened to Shooter McGavin?"

Also, it's to be noted that when I was looking up the name Shooter McGavin on Wikipedia, somebody edited the Happy Gilmore page and written "HOMO" a few hundred times.

Regan

He had very nice hair! Too bad he had to give crack to the hood.

MySpace

Apparently, people in other states still extensively use it, and don't even use Facebook. I'm jealous because I love MySpace. It's a place for friends!

Millionaires

I'm so glad that their 15 minutes of fame are long gone. Although catchy, I never saw any lasting appeal beyond their slutty/alcoholic persona's. RIP Millionaires.

Coffee 3

It's the only drink that's made out of beans... other than the obvious bean juice. Coffee should not come with ice, that takes away some of the heat chemicals, making you fall asleep faster. Sometimes, coffee doesn't know when to stop. I'm just like, "C'MON, COFFEE!" and it's like "whaaaat?" Needless to say, I'm disappointed in you.

Ring Around the Rosie

It's about Black Death. Google it.

Canada

Not quite America, but it's close... Not close by comparison, but close geographically.

Moshing

Woah, buddy. Watch where your swinging your legs. Here's a friendly note: don't crowd mosh. I'd like to reinstate that: don't crowd mosh. If you crowd mosh, you're an idiot. One time, I got my shit kicked in by the dude from Waking the Cadaver. Weird, right? It sucked.

LMFAO

They deserve a Grammy, and here are the reasons why:

1. LMFAO don't care.
2. LMFAO love sex.
3. LMFAO party 24/7.
4. LMFAO just want to have fun.
5. All of the above reflect their music, and that is a beautiful thing.
   

Rush

They kick ass. Yes, I am a nerd, why do you ask?

Birds

When will they stop birdin' around? There's a few things I think about in life: paper, electricity, and birds. Birds are on the list because of their stupid ability to poop on things. C'mon guys, I just washed my house. I don't want to hose off my window again. UGH. Sometimes, I wish birds would go back to where they came from... GERMANY. That's right, all birds are descendants from Hitler! Don't believe me? Read Wikipedia sometime (jerk).

Life

Is awesome.

Controversy

If there's one thing that Eminem LOVES, it's controversy. He is so controversial. Did you see his one music video where he made fun of all of those celebrities? Holy shit! I was so offended, it was totally controversial. Eminem, I salute you.

Electronics

There is nothing cooler than an iPod, but let me tell you about the hidden gems of technology. Take for example the Nokia Smart Phone. You can put all of your contacts in at the click of a button! Also, you can download Tetris (MSRP $4.93).

Birthday

Mine was yesterday. No blog post yesterday. Today? I'm going to write about it.

Pretty good birthday. Great day.

Dry Erase

Amazing technology. Before, we had to wet it down to erase it, but WOW, all I need it a rag. Dry erase technology won the GE Invention of the Year award when it was released in 2003. It came from the makers of damp erase. I love you, dry erase.

Hats

How many hats are out there in the world? I think a better question would be, how many hats are headless?

Button Fly

Arguably the worst piece of shit excuse for a zipper. Want to go pee really fast? Sorry bud, you're out of luck. What if one of the buttons break? Tough shit. Zippers 4 lyfe. Zippers 4 lyfe. Zippers 4 lyfe. Zippers 4 lyfe.

Coffee 2

It's the smelliest thing in the entire universe. What if coffee smelled like flowers? It wouldn't wake anybody up. It would just attract bees. Fuck bees.

100 Posts!

Yay!

Red Balloons

Do you really need to let go of that many in Germany? Why can't you just let go about 40 or 50? I hope those red balloons don't get caught in a tree, that would be a mess to clean up! Believe you, me. I tried picking out a few popped balloons out of a tree, and it really sucked, but whatever, I got good money out of it, my boss understood how hard it was going to be.

Subway

Eat fresh? Fat chance! I heard a rumor that Subway keeps all of their ingredients in a fridge. Really Subway? Ear fresh? When was the last time you grabbed something fresh out of a refrigerator?

Tree

Where else am I supposed to get my shade?

Minutes

What a concept! Imagine a world without minutes. We would measure everything with seconds!

Terrorism

There is so much controversy about a terrorist! This post isn't about him, but it's about what he does. Terrorism. The idea is outrageous. Induce fear upon your enemies. Such a concept! What if we introduced terrorism (to lesser degrees, of course). Post a comment telling me how you would do minor acts of terrorism in every day life.

Raisins

When the makers of chicken nuggets wanted to make a new successful food, they looked at prunes and thought they could apply the same principle to those as they did with chicken strips. Follow me on this one. Chicken nuggets are bite sized chicken strips. Something needs to be a bite sized prune. A raisin! Genius.

Year Books

Arguably the greatest mementos. It's always fun to look back on yourself, seeing how big of a tool I was. I thought spiked hair was cool! I'm sorry! UGH!

Tom Arnold

The least appreciated man in history. He's had the world against him his whole life. Tom Arnold was born in Iowa (what's in Iowa?), starred in a string of failed 90's comedies (and Carpool), AND he married Roseanne Barr. GIVE THE GUY A BREAK.

Dreams

I think that some of my best ideas come from dreams. When I woke up this morning, I immediately wrote down an outline. It's about discovering something horrifying (vague, I know, but I want to flesh it out before I continue). Maybe I'll transcribe it to the internet.

Kanye West

He interrupted 2009. Think about it.

New Years

It's a New Year, but how New is it? OH SHIT, THIS BLOG IS GETTIN' REAAAL.