MySpace

Apparently, people in other states still extensively use it, and don't even use Facebook. I'm jealous because I love MySpace. It's a place for friends!

Millionaires

I'm so glad that their 15 minutes of fame are long gone. Although catchy, I never saw any lasting appeal beyond their slutty/alcoholic persona's. RIP Millionaires.

Coffee 3

It's the only drink that's made out of beans... other than the obvious bean juice. Coffee should not come with ice, that takes away some of the heat chemicals, making you fall asleep faster. Sometimes, coffee doesn't know when to stop. I'm just like, "C'MON, COFFEE!" and it's like "whaaaat?" Needless to say, I'm disappointed in you.

Ring Around the Rosie

It's about Black Death. Google it.

Canada

Not quite America, but it's close... Not close by comparison, but close geographically.

Moshing

Woah, buddy. Watch where your swinging your legs. Here's a friendly note: don't crowd mosh. I'd like to reinstate that: don't crowd mosh. If you crowd mosh, you're an idiot. One time, I got my shit kicked in by the dude from Waking the Cadaver. Weird, right? It sucked.

LMFAO

They deserve a Grammy, and here are the reasons why:

1. LMFAO don't care.
2. LMFAO love sex.
3. LMFAO party 24/7.
4. LMFAO just want to have fun.
5. All of the above reflect their music, and that is a beautiful thing.
   

Rush

They kick ass. Yes, I am a nerd, why do you ask?

Birds

When will they stop birdin' around? There's a few things I think about in life: paper, electricity, and birds. Birds are on the list because of their stupid ability to poop on things. C'mon guys, I just washed my house. I don't want to hose off my window again. UGH. Sometimes, I wish birds would go back to where they came from... GERMANY. That's right, all birds are descendants from Hitler! Don't believe me? Read Wikipedia sometime (jerk).

Life

Is awesome.

Controversy

If there's one thing that Eminem LOVES, it's controversy. He is so controversial. Did you see his one music video where he made fun of all of those celebrities? Holy shit! I was so offended, it was totally controversial. Eminem, I salute you.

Electronics

There is nothing cooler than an iPod, but let me tell you about the hidden gems of technology. Take for example the Nokia Smart Phone. You can put all of your contacts in at the click of a button! Also, you can download Tetris (MSRP $4.93).

Birthday

Mine was yesterday. No blog post yesterday. Today? I'm going to write about it.

Pretty good birthday. Great day.

Dry Erase

Amazing technology. Before, we had to wet it down to erase it, but WOW, all I need it a rag. Dry erase technology won the GE Invention of the Year award when it was released in 2003. It came from the makers of damp erase. I love you, dry erase.

Hats

How many hats are out there in the world? I think a better question would be, how many hats are headless?

Button Fly

Arguably the worst piece of shit excuse for a zipper. Want to go pee really fast? Sorry bud, you're out of luck. What if one of the buttons break? Tough shit. Zippers 4 lyfe. Zippers 4 lyfe. Zippers 4 lyfe. Zippers 4 lyfe.

Coffee 2

It's the smelliest thing in the entire universe. What if coffee smelled like flowers? It wouldn't wake anybody up. It would just attract bees. Fuck bees.

100 Posts!

Yay!

Red Balloons

Do you really need to let go of that many in Germany? Why can't you just let go about 40 or 50? I hope those red balloons don't get caught in a tree, that would be a mess to clean up! Believe you, me. I tried picking out a few popped balloons out of a tree, and it really sucked, but whatever, I got good money out of it, my boss understood how hard it was going to be.

Subway

Eat fresh? Fat chance! I heard a rumor that Subway keeps all of their ingredients in a fridge. Really Subway? Ear fresh? When was the last time you grabbed something fresh out of a refrigerator?

Tree

Where else am I supposed to get my shade?

Minutes

What a concept! Imagine a world without minutes. We would measure everything with seconds!

Terrorism

There is so much controversy about a terrorist! This post isn't about him, but it's about what he does. Terrorism. The idea is outrageous. Induce fear upon your enemies. Such a concept! What if we introduced terrorism (to lesser degrees, of course). Post a comment telling me how you would do minor acts of terrorism in every day life.

Raisins

When the makers of chicken nuggets wanted to make a new successful food, they looked at prunes and thought they could apply the same principle to those as they did with chicken strips. Follow me on this one. Chicken nuggets are bite sized chicken strips. Something needs to be a bite sized prune. A raisin! Genius.

Year Books

Arguably the greatest mementos. It's always fun to look back on yourself, seeing how big of a tool I was. I thought spiked hair was cool! I'm sorry! UGH!

Tom Arnold

The least appreciated man in history. He's had the world against him his whole life. Tom Arnold was born in Iowa (what's in Iowa?), starred in a string of failed 90's comedies (and Carpool), AND he married Roseanne Barr. GIVE THE GUY A BREAK.

Dreams

I think that some of my best ideas come from dreams. When I woke up this morning, I immediately wrote down an outline. It's about discovering something horrifying (vague, I know, but I want to flesh it out before I continue). Maybe I'll transcribe it to the internet.

Kanye West

He interrupted 2009. Think about it.

New Years

It's a New Year, but how New is it? OH SHIT, THIS BLOG IS GETTIN' REAAAL.