Snuggies

How did the become so popular? It's a blanket with sleeves. How did no one think of this before?

Questions

When you ask something, you don't ask a statement. You ask a question. Some of life's biggest questions: "does God exist?", "why are we here?" These questions can be answered with one thing: a response. Am I going to respond to those questions? Hell no, that stuff's beyond my being.

Mono

You know you graduated high school when you can recall time with "that's the year I had mono".

Empire

I wish that I could make an empire. It would be an empire of chocolate! Chocolate from across the land, from California to China. Every size, shape and color would be represented. This is the most delicious empire since the Honey Roasted Ham Empire.

Standing

We learned how to walk in our first few years of existence. But when we learned to stand, that was our proudest moment. We learned to stand up for ourselves. Unleash the wolf inside of you!

Moshing

Woah, buddy. Watch where your swinging your legs. Here's a friendly note: don't crowd mosh. I'd like to reinstate that: don't crowd mosh. If you crowd mosh, you're an idiot. One time, I got my shit kicked in by the dude from Waking the Cadaver. Weird, right? It sucked.

Life

Is awesome.

Minutes

What a concept! Imagine a world without minutes. We would measure everything with seconds!

Terrorism

There is so much controversy about a terrorist! This post isn't about him, but it's about what he does. Terrorism. The idea is outrageous. Induce fear upon your enemies. Such a concept! What if we introduced terrorism (to lesser degrees, of course). Post a comment telling me how you would do minor acts of terrorism in every day life.

Year Books

Arguably the greatest mementos. It's always fun to look back on yourself, seeing how big of a tool I was. I thought spiked hair was cool! I'm sorry! UGH!

New Years

It's a New Year, but how New is it? OH SHIT, THIS BLOG IS GETTIN' REAAAL.

Pot

The saying "Pot calling the kettle black" doesn't really apply in my household. See, all our pots and pans, including the kettle, are all grey. Maybe if the saying was "...calling the kettle grey," it could be used, but that doesn't sound right. Plus, if someone says it too fast, it could sound like "...thekettlegay," and I don't want any of that derogatory nonsense in my house.

Man

When God was making man (fact), why did he give him hair? The Garden of Eden couldn't have been that cold.